The Best Way To Enjoy Your Friends And Endure Your Enemies

If you are going to live a life without angst, anger and aggression, you have to simplify.

If you are consistently in a state of irritation, you are going to have to decide.

If you are constantly having arguments, you are going to have to change.

If you want to have a fun-filled life full of love, you have to be proactive.

I have distilled life into a wonderfully simple formula - LOVE OR AVOID.

Either LOVE the people in your life, or AVOID them.

If you LOVE them, then LOVE them unconditionally, be happy for them, be proud of them, want the best for them, and above all, enjoy them.

If you are irritated by the people in your life, then AVOID them - if you AVOID them for long enough, you'll end up getting rid of them completely, and that is a good thing.

Now, I am not so naive as to think that we can only LOVE OR AVOID people; I am aware that we live in the real world and we have to deal with real situations; I have a solution for that too -

When confronted with people (at work or at play) who we would rather AVOID, then it simply requires a change of attitude - we just have to remember that this interaction is temporary, not permanent, and therefore we can deal with it because it is unAVOIDable at present and AVOIDable in the end.

The above advice does not include family issues - these are to be AVOIDed at all costs if they cause pain, suffering, anger or irritation - I have long taught that family members should not be given special abuse privileges just because "they are family" - that is a fool's game.

With family issues, I always prescribe AVOIDance - do not endure Thanksgiving, Christmas or Chanukah with people you cannot stand because "they are family"; do not waste days of your life or money in your bank account on people who give you little to no pleasure; do not be suckered into thinking you should be involved with people you have nothing in common with just because "they are family" - that does nobody any favors.

It is time that we were able to design our lives to suit ourselves rather than accepting the life we were given.

We should spend time with people we LOVE.

We should AVOID all others.

And if we are caught in a situation that requires spending time with people we would rather AVOID, then we should do our level best to keep the interaction quick and painless (or amusing and hilarious).

LOVE OR AVOID is a simple mantra for a simple life that leads to a better quality of living.

Listen. Learn. Enact.

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Four Ways to Create Happy and Healthy Relationships

For most women, healthy relationships are an essential component to living a happy and contented life. They bring us a sense of joy, purpose and connectedness. And while healthy relationships can add so much to our lives, it can often seem like they are more chance, than choice, and illusive, rather than purposeful. But the reality is that we have much influence over how we experience relationships and ourselves in them.

Creating happy and healthy relationships begins with energetically setting the foundation of the relationship so that the relationship can express the fullest potential of what we desire - whether that be love, recognition, support, etc. Are you aware of the foundation you are creating in your relationships? When you become conscious of the foundation, you then have choices, tools and the ability to create a foundation which supports what you want to experience as you connect with others.

Our energetic foundation begins with our personal beliefs, perceptions and past experiences which creates a dominant vibration or signal which then translates into direct and indirect communication. Our dominant vibration directly turns into our words, actions and behaviors. Indirectly, our dominant vibration is the essence of us which others feel, interpret and experience on many different levels. Since over 80% of communication is nonverbal, we all are communicating with energy long before words are spoken or actions are taken.

If you want to experience healthy, supportive and loving relationships, here are four ways to consciously create a foundation which will allow this to unfold in the best possible way.

1) Be open to receiving. Many women feel that they are the givers in their relationships and they don't have anyone who is giving to them. If your dominant energy pattern is something along the lines of "I'm fine. I got it. I'm good. I can do it on my own", then there is an unconscious pattern blocking your receptivity to support, help, love, etc.

As women, we have been taught that our worth is tied up in what we do for others - in our giving - so we limit or block our receiving because that doesn't give us a sense of inherent value or worth. We often confuse giving as a one way process. We forget that if there was no one to receive, we would have nothing to give. This holds true in that we can give others the pleasure in giving to us.

So play with allowing others to give to you and responding with a smile and a thank you. This could be on the spectrum of letting someone hold the door open for you to letting a loved one help you in some significant way.

2) Stay yourself. Another common experience women have is they lose their sense of self or identify when in relationships. We mistakenly believe that if we put our own wants/needs/desires aside that somehow that will strengthen our relationships or at least keep us connected to others.

We think if we make it all about them, the relationship with flourish. And often it does feel good at first, but the longer we discount ourselves, including our intuition, our needs, wants and desires, the more we open the door to feelings such as bitterness and resentment and beliefs such as being taken advantage of or we don't matter.

So take a risk and play with being transparent in your relationships. Maybe you reveal something about yourself or are completely honest in asking for what you want.

3) Shift your focus. Often, women believe that they don't have any control in their relationships. This can express as thoughts such as "if only he loved me, he would... " or "if only my boss would recognize me, than... " It's as if we are at the whim and mercy of others and do not have the ability to influence our own experience.

Often what is happening is that we are mistakenly trying to control what is out of our control and neglect what is actually in our control. We have control over our own thoughts, feelings, beliefs and choices. We do not have control over what others are experiencing including their thoughts, feelings, beliefs and choices. When we can let go of exhausting ourselves and our energies by trying to control others, this opens the door for us to take 100% responsibility for how we experience others and therefore create transformation.

Shift your focus from trying to make another person feel something to connecting to how you feel. Explore your own feelings through writing, playing or speaking them directly to another.

4) Shine your light. Many women hold themselves back in relationships, perhaps to stay inside comfort zones or to not threaten others. We think "who am I to do all that? Who am I to play so big in the world? Who am I to shine so bright? Others are certainly more capable, experienced, talented or thinner." These thoughts, beliefs and feelings are what prevent us from experiencing what we are truly capable of.

When we play small, we create an void inside of us that we look to others to fill. We seek for others to give us a sense of self esteem, value and worth which can lead to an exhaustible external search. The self esteem we desire truly comes from within.

Notice what is already inside of you, just waiting for your permission to burst forth and shine. What natural talents, abilities and gifts are ready be unleashed in the world?

When we become aware of how we have energetically set up relationships, we can see that we have many choices for change and transformation. When you open yourself up to receive, stay yourself, shift your focus and shine your light, you build a strong foundation for creating happy and healthy relationships.

In Light and Love,

Gabrielle--

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How Can People Have Both Passion and Stability in Their Relationships?

What does passion mean to you? It can mean a lot of different things to different people: sexual passion, emotional passion, religious passion, passion about values...

Passion is energy -- uncontrolled, powerful energy, from the depths of our being. It is focused, motivated, alive, and connected with the forces of life.

Passion can have a huge effect - either positive or negative. It has moved mountains and it has destroyed nations. How do we allow full passion to exist in our relationships without blowing them apart?

In relationships each partner can trigger, for the other, intensely volatile emotions that can seem like life and death issues, threatening what is the most important to the other. There is also potent potential for ecstasy, and incredible growth.

Do most stable relationships have passion in them after a while? Not if they remain stable. Why? Because passion can be dangerous and can split people apart. Passion can result in abusive behavior. It's playing with fire; but the fire is essential for any worthwhile endeavor if we're going to live our lives and be alive while we do it.

Anytime we let anyone close emotionally we're getting to a place where uncontrolled energy can be released - either in positive or negative directions. In a healthy relationship the energy released is positive and inspiring for anyone in contact with it. The energy is going toward love, growth, and expansion.

In dysfunctional relationships the energy released can be horrendous, with everyone running for cover. People can do desperate and destructive things toward each other - if they even stick around long enough for that to happen. That is because in dysfunctional relationships the passion is, in large part, going into projection, when deep issues from the past are being triggered by your partner. Projection means when we think that other person is the source the painful feelings we are feeling.

In general, relationships bring up deep unresolved issues from childhood (limiting decisions*) giving you the opportunity to work through them. Most people have areas of deep pain that they have the tendency to project onto other people. You can either use this intense experience to confirm the distortion of the limiting decisions* as reality, or you can use it for transformation. In other words, you can either take responsibility for the pain as coming from yourself, or project the pain onto the other person.

For many people, the goal in their relationship is to get immediate satisfaction. And often at the beginning of the relationship, you get attracted by the potential for this. But when reality hits, and you find yourself in the midst of life happening, outside the glow of the fantasy of falling in love, the real issues start coming up. At this point your partner often takes on the symbolism of your childhood primary relationships (generally your father or mother), including whatever unresolved issues you have with them, that have to do with intense basic human needs and desires, such as love, acceptance, survival and safety - and especially the potential for deep union with the other. These can bring up intense pain.

If you are open to personal growth, this serves to greatly motivate you to work on yourself and the relationship. But if you are invested in trying to get immediate satisfaction the way things currently are, this can lead to very volatile emotions, because you are going in a direction where there isn't a solution. You end up blaming your partner for your pain, as if he or she is the source of it. And that's when passion can become dangerous.

The solution lies in shifting your focus from an investment in immediately getting your needs met by your partner -- to recognizing that passion in relationships is connected to a larger soul purpose, having to do with each of you following your own path in life, including your own personal transformation. If you don't make a larger truth the focus of your relationship, but instead make your focus safety, security, stability and comfort, the passion will likely either dissipate or tear the relationship apart. If you do open up to a larger purpose for your relationship you will find it is an amazing journey, with enormous potential for growth and transformation.

*Limiting decisions: An NLP term used in NLP TimeLine counseling sessions to mean unconscious decisions made in early childhood that are some form of that life doesn't work, and usually that there is something inherently wrong with you -- such as "I am powerless," "bad," "without value;" or "The world is a dangerous place," "People can't be trusted," and so on.

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An Important Lesson From The School Of Life

As convenient as SCHOOL may or may not be...

As inconvenient as LIFE may or may not be...

There is one thing for sure - LIFE is a far better teacher than SCHOOL.

Yet, SCHOOL seems to be the education we adhere to, forgetting that LIFE is what we have to deal with.

Is it not time that we listened to what LIFE is telling us?

Is it not time that we educated our children about LIFE (instead of SCHOOLing them with fairy tales)?

Is it not time to be honest with ourselves and our children, and actually admit that most of what we accept is a total lie?

The standard education system tells us that success is financial - it totally ignores the physical and the emotional.

The current system of education does not teach anyone how to be a parent - it teaches us how to be dependent.

The American school system is considering pizza as a vegetable because of the tomato sauce - god help me... oh, I forgot, if there was a god, she would not have allowed us to be so stupid.

When will we actually begin to teach our children what they really need to know?

And when will we start to accept what we already know?

LIFE is difficult - we all know that.

Relationships are hard work - we all hope not.

The financial system is a mess - we all wish it wasn't.

The health of the population of the United States is a joke - we all laugh at that.

Instead of teaching our children that they should spend more than they earn so they do not have to confront any form of responsibility; instead of telling ourselves that we know how to parent without even considering how ill-prepared we truly are; instead of pretending that a pill will make us healthy; instead of believing that there is one person on this planet who is perfect for us - why don't we stop...

And think...

And look at how LIFE really is...

And then work within the reality of money, health and relationships...

The SCHOOL OF LIFE is very clear if you open your eyes.

The SCHOOL OF LIFE repeats its lessons over and over and over again.

Start learning from the SCHOOL OF LIFE -

The financial markets go round and round in circles - highs and lows.

Relationships that blossom too soon will implode quickly - the good ones build calmly.

If you eat too much and do not exercise you will be fat - and there are no excuses when it comes to weight.

Start to look at the SCHOOL OF LIFE and you will begin to see that spending more than you earn is a fool's game; that depending on someone else for emotional or financial stability is a losing game; that refusing to exercise whilst indulging yourself is a fat person's game; that waiting for someone else to complete you is a weak game.

Don't be miseducated by the fairy tales, the fantasy, the lies, the religions, the hopes and dreams of the past, or the desperation of the future - be intelligent, open your eyes, accept the truth and live by the rules of the SCHOOL OF LIFE.

The SCHOOL OF LIFE rewards the individual, exalts the independent, admires the respectful and encourages fairness for all...

But the SCHOOL OF LIFE does not graduate the weak, the needy or the desperate...

Always maintain a sense of self, a sense of achievement, a sense of independence, a sense of reality and the ability to be better than your past - then the SCHOOL OF LIFE will be worth the cost of the education it delivers.

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Stop Being A Statistic

There is a statistic that says 'people in happy marriages live longer'. This statistic is touted by the pro-marriage lobbyists as a reason to get married.

What about the people in UNhappy marriages? There are way more of those to deal with. This statistic about marriage and longevity is not a statistic at all - it's the logical outcome of a basic premise. If you are happy you are more healthy, if you are healthy you live longer - logic - nothing more, nothing less. The same statistic also suggests that single people are not as happy as married people. This statistic hints that single people are unhappy, miserable little trolls with no hope of ever being happy.

I agree.

What? I agree that single people are unhappy, miserable little trolls?!

That's outrageous.

But it's basically true - through no fault of the single person... Single people are made to feel as if something is wrong with them because they are single... Single people are prodded for being 'single' and not married, as if there is something wrong with them. And the prevalent 'wisdom' on singledom seems to drag the singles down with it... Single people slowly drift into a state of discontent because they have not been validated by marriage. This is a vicious circle started by a statistic that society is happy to encourage; a statistic that holds no water because most marriages are not happy at all.

Time to challenge the statistic, and the conventional 'wisdom'. Time to wake up to reality. The reality is this - you will be a singleton at some point in your life... either for a short while, or for a longer while. And your attitude will make all the difference when you are single. You can either drag yourself into a hole of self-reprimanding depression about singledom...

Or you can flip the 'wisdom' and see yourself as bigger than any statistic.

- You do not need marriage to be happy.

- You do not need marriage to live longer - in fact, marriage will probably make you wish you were going to live shorter.

- You do not need to jump from one relationship to another - you would do better to spend some time as a 'single' in between relationships.

What you need is a change of perspective.

A change of perspective will give you a change of attitude which will give you a boost in confidence and a reason to enjoy your space, freedom and singledom.

* For the record, I view the word 'single' as the worst way to describe yourself - I preach and teach that you should always be 'multiple'; not multiple like a slut or a stud, but 'multiple' like a person who has multiple options and opportunities, multiple choices and chances. Tell people you are 'multiple' and they will immediately want to know more... Tell people you are single and they will pity you.

If you allow a statistic to make a decision for you then you are going to end up miserable and married... not just miserable. If you accept that a statistic is a good reason to make a counter-intuitive decision, then you deserve to be miserable and married. If you refuse to challenge this statistic then you will end up on the stepping stones followed by the rest of your family and friends which has led to a large (and unacceptable) majority of them being miserable and divorced because they thought marriage would make them feel better (and they were wrong).

I would like you to challenge the conventional wisdom; to realize that your marriage will not make you happy - your attitude and effort will. I would like you to challenge the statistics; to realize that being unmarried does not make life all doom and gloom - if you embrace your freedom, build up your confidence and look after yourself, then you can live a happy, healthy and wealthy life whichever way you choose to go - 'multiple' or married - although I would always encourage 'multiple' over married.

63% of statistics are made up on the spot. I just made that up. Do not allow statistics to shape your life - make up your own opinions, develop your own style of lunacy, live for yourself and include others in your happiness. By embracing every stage of your life, by refusing to be weighed down by statistics, by letting go of the agenda, you will find that every situation is an opportunity, and every opportunity is a pleasure.

This article is sponsored by medical case study.

Relationships: To Leash or Not To Leash (That Is The Question)

I was in the pet store this afternoon looking at buying leashes for my cats. I know what you're thinking, a leash for a cat, what are you crazy? I'm not crazy, I just love my pets and I want to find ways to enrich their lives. I figured it was a better option then the covered baby stroller.

Well I didn't come home with a leash, but the whole process did get me to thinking. Does letting a man have "off leash" time strengthen your relationship with him?

Here is a great example of what I'm talking about. I live in Southern California and on Sundays I love to go to a place called Dog Beach. It's a small beach that allows people to bring their dogs and let them "off leash" to play. Every Sunday people arrive at the beach with their dogs. There are dogs of all shapes, sizes and breeds with one thing in common, they are all excited and can't wait for their owners to unclip that leash and let them run and play.

Once that leash is unclipped, every single dog goes sprinting towards the water. And then something amazing happens, they realize that they've gone too far away from their owners and they come running back. I imagine if they could talk, they would be saying to their owners, "Hurry up! It's going to be so much fun! But you have to be there so you can have fun too!" It wasn't a leash that brought them back, they came back because they wanted there owners to share in the fun.

After playing in the surf and chasing the other dogs around, it's time to go home. As the owners head back to their waiting cars, their dogs are trotting by their side, just as happy as can be and amazingly not a leash in site. As they get closer to the street the leashes get clipped back on, and the dogs don't seem to mind at all. Probably because they know that come next Sunday, they'll get to do it all over again.

So maybe, if we let our men "off their leash" on a regular basis, they would have the same reaction. They would run off to have fun, but realize they wanted us with them. And when play time was over, and the leash goes back on, they wouldn't mind it so much because they would know that they'll get to have some more "off leash" time real soon.

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How to Make Her Feel Special - Everyday

Men and women will always be different. We like that they're wired and tick differently. At times though, it can make our heads spin. But we need to make her feel special and appreciated. Men think problems out; most of the time on their own. Women like to talk it out; with you or a friend. We could spend a life time trying to figure out the opposite sex. We could possess all the knowledge from the previous millennium's and still need to explore further. And while each woman is different and unique there are a few similarities they all share. And within these similarities there is a recurring theme - It won't make sense to me or you, and we won't be able to reason or rationalize it in our brains. Then it hit me. I don't need to rationalize it. All I need to do is understand that women are different and accept it.

Here's how to understand her and do things for her even when you don't get it.

Listen to her and use every muscle in your brain to not think about how you can fix it for her. Think back to the last time you were stuck in a jam and just needed a friend to listen. For us men this doesn't happen very often. But when it does it's usually after exhausting all other options and we just need a friend that'll listen.

Women are similar, except that the listening part comes more often. They're wired differently. That's why we like them. Women like to communicate. We do too, but they do more. What I mean by this is that topics we find unnecessary or irrelevant could be important to her. This should make it important to you too. We might resolve it in our head, but they'll talk it out. What we call "venting" might be how she processes and shares with you the events of her day.

When she comes home and shares with you a frustration from her day try to look at it from the perspective of she wants to include you in her day. Not fix her day. If she wants you to fix it, she will let you know. You might think that if you "fix it" now then you'll be saving her from a potential frustrating day down the road. This may be true. But when she's sharing her day aka "venting" with you this is not the time to "fix it". If you absolutely feel you need to bring it up, than do so later. Appreciate her venting and be thankful you're even a part of her day.

Learn her love language. There's only 5 so it shouldn't be too tough. Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. If you're unfamiliar with these 5 love languages I suggest you learn about them. These love languages aren't strictly for women. Us men have them too. For me it's quality time. I can remember growing up wanting to spend more quality time with my dad. But he wasn't there. I didn't quite realize why it was so important to me until I came to learn that this was my primary love language.

In your relationship it's important to know hers. For you it might be Receiving Gifts so you go and buy her expensive gifts. You even did all your homework and planned gifts for a year. Now if her love language is Words of Affirmation than you're not hitting the bull's-eye. You're coming close but still missing. I'm not saying she won't appreciate the gift because she will. But if you really want to make her feel special than learn her love language.

Date night. Spending time together comes first. Finding the time to spend together also comes first. I used to think that men were supposed to put providing for their family above all else. For those of us that are single it can be in preparation for providing; studying, workaholic or fill in the blank. It's called being responsible or so I thought. I even thought that this was what woman wanted. A few years ago a girl I was dating told me I was selfish. I didn't get it then. I was being responsible for my own priorities. Not the priorities we shared. What I've come to realize is that a relationship is like taking a journey together and having an adventure. If you're absent or not on the path, than you're not part of the adventure. Being "busy" is no excuse for not making time for the one who is most important in your life. And if we're honest with ourselves we know that we can create time when it's a priority.

Make up a holiday. You don't have to follow the calendar to plan a special evening for her. Sure those pre-decided dates like anniversaries help. Especially for us men that need to plan things out. Make one up though and put it on your calendar. A holiday just for her. You might find that this also helps with the business.

Buy a gift for no reason because women love gifts. It doesn't matter how grand it is. A little gesture goes a long way. 9 out of 10 guys have a tough time gift shopping. What I try to do is listen throughout the year for gift ideas. Trust me, they do throw hints out there and if you're listening you'll catch one. If you do go with this idea remember that it doesn't replace expected gifts like birthdays, anniversaries, etc...

Do not combine gifts. If her birthday falls on Dec 26th do not combine her birthday gift with her Christmas gift. Do not even combine her birthday party with the Christmas party. These are two different events for two different people. Make sure she knows she's the center of your attention.

Push Gift aka Push Present is a new concept for me. My coworker told me about it (he actually gets credit for "Date Night" too) and said mothers really appreciate it. A Push Gift is given by the new father to the new mother when she gives birth to their child. Considering she carried and delivered a child a gift is nothing in comparison but the gesture will be appreciated. It can be given before, during or even after the delivery room.

Do the little things like taking out the trash, putting down the toilet seat, creating a grocery list if you can't remember them all, fixing the clogged sink, actively communicating, making breakfast or getting the kids ready so she can sleep in. Any of these loving gestures will not make you less of a man. Sometimes we complain about the woman in our life nagging us. For some of us though they ask and ask again while watching TV; right after saying we don't have time. Excuses-No matter how rationalized in your brain is still an excuse. Be responsible and fulfill your duty.

Each of these ideas have their time and place. One does not replace the other. Some men only buy flowers when they've made a mistake. These ideas are not for that. When it comes down to it, we do the things that make sense to us. We like to do things our way. But what really needs to make sense and be understood here is that they're different and our brains can't solve that. What we can do though is move past it and do some of things we know they like. Don't give up and take it one step at a time to treating her right.

We won't always "get" them, so be thankful this isn't a requirement to making them feel loved and appreciated.

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Manage Stress and Notice How Your Sex Life Improves

Stress can become an all-encompassing feeling. As you strive to achieve all the goals in your life, satisfy the demands being made of you, accomplish all the tasks you need, must, or ought to do you may feel that you have nothing left to give. The stress of these situations can be completely draining. It can occupy your thoughts, dreams, invade all the space inside your head as you constantly worry, fret and remain pre-occupied and absorbed with all you have to do. It's no wonder that there is often little energy, time or interest left for sex when we are stressed.

Learn to manage stress and notice how your sex life improves:

- Associated feelings often accompany stress. Emotions like anger, resentment, jealousy and anger often feature and these impact on the way you behave when you're with others. When you feel upset or distressed with colleagues, friends, family or partner it can influence the way you relax elsewhere.

You may find that stress from one area seeps into another area of your life as negative emotions and pressure increases and becomes more difficult to contain. There may be a desire not to burden those closest to you, or feelings of embarrassment at being in this situation. Often sharing your stresses can help you feel better and more supported.

- There may be resentments at feeling that you're doing everything, anger that you're taken for granted, unappreciated, that others should offer to help and do more but don't, jealousy that others get all the recognition and accolades whilst you do all the work. Feeling stressed makes these scenarios more hurtful and difficult to bear. Negative emotions can eat away at you and are not conducive to a good sex life.

Hypnotherapy can help you relax and let go of negative feelings and emotions and feel better able to cope. As you learn to manage stress more effectively you'll become more confident, assertive and able to relax, have fun in your relationships and subsequently notice how your sex life improves.

- Introducing boundaries is an important way to learn to manage stress. Become aware of how much of your power you give away to others. Do you allow people to constantly interrupt your life with their demands, problems, issues? It's no wonder that you're too emotionally drained for sex. You may even find that when they're not speaking directly to you their voices still resonate in your head. Introducing boundaries, becoming appropriately assertive, but not aggressive can help to even out the balance in demanding relationships and allow other people to become aware that you too have a life that you're determined to enjoy.

- Work is an area that occupies many people's thoughts and causes them stress. Do you feel that you take on too much, perhaps out of a desire to prove that you're good, competent, capable? Managing time better can help with this as busy people often start several tasks at once in a bid to make inroads into their overflowing pile of outstanding work.

If you're asked to take on work that's urgent try to delegate other tasks, explain to management what else you're working on, prioritize your list of outstanding jobs and try to give yourself a little latitude, maybe explain the need for extra time. Sometimes there is no leeway with urgent deadlines and long hours have to be worked. But as a constant way of life stress ultimately damages your health, drains your energy, good humour and quality of life in a variety of ways.

- Learn to manage stress and eat healthier, have regular meal breaks, drink more water and manage your caffeine and alcohol intake, exercise and commit to having fun interests, avoid going too long without sleep and burning the candle at both ends. These commitments to yourself improve how you feel about yourself, support you in feeling calmer, less tired, more fit and healthy. All these actions improve your desire to feel more inclined to enjoy a healthy sex life.

Libido is one part of sexual functioning. Your mind is an important factor too. Clearing your mind of worries and anxieties, feeling less tired and drained, more relaxed and happier within yourself all contribute to you managing stress. As you do this you will certainly notice how your sex life improves.

Online Body Enhancing To Get Friends, Dates, and Build Relationships Might Be a Mistake

The other day, I was trying to figure out how come so many people with so little experience were able to send out friendship requests on various social networks, specifically those designed for businesses, and within a day or two, they had 400 friends or more. I would say that much of it has to do with doctored photographs, or pictures that perhaps aren't even theirs. In the future this won't be an available tactic due to FRT or facial recognition technology.

Long ago, I had a vendor who had modified his photographs to make himself look as if he had an incredible chiseled body. In reality he did not, but he said by posting those photos online he was able to get more dates, as in girlfriends, and female clientele. However, it would seem to me that eventually the gals he was dating would find out that his body was less than adequate, at least compared to the picture. He wasn't grossly overweight, or ugly or anything like that, but the photos had obviously been Photoshopped.

In rationalizing this, he said it shouldn't matter because often people get body enhancements, facelifts, boob jobs, and what have you, and that isn't the real them either. However, to this comment I would suggest that it is fairer in that case because you get what you see. Whereas Photoshop trickery is almost like bait and switch, it is photograph manipulation and false inducement, and if that were in the business world it would be considered misleading advertising, dishonest marketing, and downright fraudulent.

Indeed, I suppose everyone wants to have good-looking friends on their Facebook page, or on their social network, but if those pictures aren't real, or they've been manipulated, then one has to ask what is the purpose of having fake pictures from less-than-ethical people littered across your social networking page as friends? In many regards we live in a fake world, as people wear suits to prove that they have leadership ability or business sense, and people go out of their way to use nice strong adjectives on their resumes.

Yes, I get all that, it seems to be human nature to pump up your chest to attract the opposite sex. So, is this just another form or extension of an innate characteristic of human beings? If so should it really matter? Or, perhaps you are like me in my thinking, and find that most of this nonsense has gone too far, and it's absolutely unacceptable behavior, and it only leads to hurt feelings, lack of trust, rather than any sort of "winning friends and influencing people" motif. Indeed I hope you will please consider all that and think on it.

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Can Reading Erotic Romance Be Good For Your Relationship?

Right now, the bestselling book on Amazon is Fifty Shades of Grey. This has created an explosion of other similar selling titles, and suddenly more and more women are reading erotic romance novels. But now many people are wondering if reading these stories is good for your relationship?

Let's get straight to the facts then - it certainly can't hurt. Many women say that reading these books can help ignite passion into their lives, and if you have a partner, of course that will usually translate into more passionate nights with them.

The only time it is a problem is if you would rather read your book, than spend time with your partner (although if that's the case there are probably many more issues in your relationship that you need to deal with first).

Many partners usually agree that it does produce more intimate encounters, and even can lead to more experimentation in the bedroom if there is a certain scene that is particularly arousing.

I have no doubt that more couples have been introducing new games and fantasies into their bedrooms after reading Fifty Shades of Grey. And even if you don't try out some of the things that the characters get up to, just thinking about it while you are with your partner can help increase arousal in many women.

Of course, not all good erotic romance stories need to be as extreme as that novel. In fact you can get romances that range from the 'fade to black' scenes in which everything is left up to the reader's imagination, right up to certain fetishes. So really there is something in this genre for every taste.

Most commonly though, is usually the typical male / female scene where the heroine falls for the hero's charms and a passionate night of lovemaking ensues.

Don't always assume that romantica just includes human characters though, paranormal romances with heavy sex scenes are also becoming a mainstream read for many women. It has been said that some women prefer the idea of a vampire or werewolf making love, rather than a real person.

It's still just all fantasy though. And probably the reason why the more extreme books do well - because you don't have to try it in real life, it can stay in your head where it belongs. And if that helps bring couples together, it must be good for the relationship.

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