Stop Being A Statistic

There is a statistic that says 'people in happy marriages live longer'. This statistic is touted by the pro-marriage lobbyists as a reason to get married.

What about the people in UNhappy marriages? There are way more of those to deal with. This statistic about marriage and longevity is not a statistic at all - it's the logical outcome of a basic premise. If you are happy you are more healthy, if you are healthy you live longer - logic - nothing more, nothing less. The same statistic also suggests that single people are not as happy as married people. This statistic hints that single people are unhappy, miserable little trolls with no hope of ever being happy.

I agree.

What? I agree that single people are unhappy, miserable little trolls?!

That's outrageous.

But it's basically true - through no fault of the single person... Single people are made to feel as if something is wrong with them because they are single... Single people are prodded for being 'single' and not married, as if there is something wrong with them. And the prevalent 'wisdom' on singledom seems to drag the singles down with it... Single people slowly drift into a state of discontent because they have not been validated by marriage. This is a vicious circle started by a statistic that society is happy to encourage; a statistic that holds no water because most marriages are not happy at all.

Time to challenge the statistic, and the conventional 'wisdom'. Time to wake up to reality. The reality is this - you will be a singleton at some point in your life... either for a short while, or for a longer while. And your attitude will make all the difference when you are single. You can either drag yourself into a hole of self-reprimanding depression about singledom...

Or you can flip the 'wisdom' and see yourself as bigger than any statistic.

- You do not need marriage to be happy.

- You do not need marriage to live longer - in fact, marriage will probably make you wish you were going to live shorter.

- You do not need to jump from one relationship to another - you would do better to spend some time as a 'single' in between relationships.

What you need is a change of perspective.

A change of perspective will give you a change of attitude which will give you a boost in confidence and a reason to enjoy your space, freedom and singledom.

* For the record, I view the word 'single' as the worst way to describe yourself - I preach and teach that you should always be 'multiple'; not multiple like a slut or a stud, but 'multiple' like a person who has multiple options and opportunities, multiple choices and chances. Tell people you are 'multiple' and they will immediately want to know more... Tell people you are single and they will pity you.

If you allow a statistic to make a decision for you then you are going to end up miserable and married... not just miserable. If you accept that a statistic is a good reason to make a counter-intuitive decision, then you deserve to be miserable and married. If you refuse to challenge this statistic then you will end up on the stepping stones followed by the rest of your family and friends which has led to a large (and unacceptable) majority of them being miserable and divorced because they thought marriage would make them feel better (and they were wrong).

I would like you to challenge the conventional wisdom; to realize that your marriage will not make you happy - your attitude and effort will. I would like you to challenge the statistics; to realize that being unmarried does not make life all doom and gloom - if you embrace your freedom, build up your confidence and look after yourself, then you can live a happy, healthy and wealthy life whichever way you choose to go - 'multiple' or married - although I would always encourage 'multiple' over married.

63% of statistics are made up on the spot. I just made that up. Do not allow statistics to shape your life - make up your own opinions, develop your own style of lunacy, live for yourself and include others in your happiness. By embracing every stage of your life, by refusing to be weighed down by statistics, by letting go of the agenda, you will find that every situation is an opportunity, and every opportunity is a pleasure.

This article is sponsored by medical case study.